The Seat Beside Me

--------------------------------------A ONE-WAY FEELING--------------------------------------------------------
Ghar jana kisko nahi pasand, aur khaas kar tab jab aap kuch time se apne aapko regressly ghis rahe ho… ek woh lamha hi toh hai jab aap ghar jayein aur aapki mummy… aur bas unke bahon mein simat jaane ka mann kare… bas yahi sochte-sochte hum pahunche subah-subah ghar aur kya paaya…

MAA (thode gusse mein): "Aa gaye… itna late kaise hua?"
Me: "Arey maa, haal-chal le lo yaarrrr………"
MAA: "Jao taiyar ho jao, pooja 11 baje se hai. Tumhare haathon se hi hoga Rudrabhishek………"

Sab log pooja ki taiyari mein lag gaye… mehmaan bhi aane lage ek-ek kar ke…
Bua… Mausi… Aunty… Uncle… Bhanja… Bhanji… etc. etc.
Papa? Nahi, unko leave nahi mila, so woh nahi aa paye…
Saari taiyari ho chuki thi, Pandit ji bas bahut late aaye the, around 4 PM. Aur pooja khatam hua 11 baje raat ko…
Ab ussi raat meri train bhi thi wapas jaane ke liye… 4 AM morning…

Sab log jaane ke baad maa apni friends ke saath room pe gayi, bol ke ki “Shri, you do your packing and be ready by 3 AM.”
Then I was awake till 2 and was about to get ready, but then slept and woke up around 7 AM. My train missed… (Obviously, we all were tired.)

Maa again booked my ticket for evening 5 PM… then later I boarded the train…
Train departed from Lucknow… I, who was busy reading a Shiva book, was interrupted by one old man…

HE: “Beta… yeh mera seat no. hai E1 bogie mein. Meri wife ka tumhare bagal wali seat hai, so if you don’t mind, can you exchange it with me?”
Me (as a responsible guy): “Ok uncle, I’ll go there…..”

As I seated there again, after few minutes, one couple insisted me to change the seat so that they can sit together…
Main bhale hi bahar se strong lagta hoon, par andar se ek introvert ladka hoon, jo bas bol nahi paata… sirf Bhagwan se bolta phir raha tha ki sabka jodi hi banwata ja raha hai jab se safar shuru hua…

Kher, he again shifted me to E2… Jab tak main yahan-wahan ghoomte hue busy tha, ussi mein Kanpur aa gaya…
Main again songs sun raha tha and trying to finish that book… Itne mein I felt somebody touched my shoulder and as I saw, it was a girl…

She, with madhur awaaz: “Excuse me, that is my seat” (beside me). I suddenly removed my bottle and offered her the seat—“Yes please…”

2 ajnabi ki yeh pehli interaction… kya pata tha aage yahi ek lamha ban jaayegi…
Kher, after few hours, hum dono thoda comfortable hue, tab she very politely said to me: “Yeh aap kaunsi book padh rahe ho?”
Me (with introverted voice): “Yeh… Waiting for Shiva hai.” And started telling her the crux of the book—that it’s about the issue of Gyanvapi Masjid and history of Kashi Vishwanath temple…
And she was listening with so much passion, like she was so interested in this topic… and that’s how our small talk started, which was going to last for another 4–5 hours maybe……

She: “Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself – Hi, I’m Pallavi… an extrovert girl… studying MA Political Science from DU… from Ayodhya…”
Me (a little bit nervous): “I’m Shrikant Thakur… from Lucknow… passed out 2023 batch… etc. etc……”
She: “Arey gajab! Aap bhi 2023 se ho? Main bhi wahi usi year ki hoon.”
Me: “Yeah yeah, nice…”

I don’t know but… kya extrovert log itna kaise khul jaate hain turant…
She started listening to songs…
As was I doing…

This time I, with lots of guts, said: “Aapko history mein interest hai kya?”
She looked at me like I asked her half her food…
But very unexpectedly, she said: “Actually, I wanted history but due to some reasons I took Pol Science. But I read history books a lot.”
She suddenly recalled, “Ohh yeah! You toh did your graduation from history only. Can you resolve my few doubts?”
Me (with confidence): “Yeah sure.”

Her doubts:

• “Agar Prithviraj first battle of Panipat mein hi maar dete Ghori ko, toh India kabhi Muslims ke haathon aata hi nahi?”
• “Agar Iltutmish Changez Khan ki help na karta, phir India ka kya dasha hoti?”
• “Kya sach mein Aurangzeb itna bura tha?”

Main thoda sa muskuraya. Pallavi ki aankhon mein sach mein jigyasa thi, aur uski masoomiyat mein thodi si na-samajhi bhi jhalak rahi thi.

Me (thoda sa sahej hokar, ab nervousness kam ho rahi thi):
“Pallavi, aapne jo pehla sawaal kiya, woh Panipat nahi, Tarain ka yuddh tha—Prithviraj Chauhan aur Muhammad Ghori ke beech. Pehle mein Prithviraj jeete the, doosre mein haare. Aur yeh kehna ki agar us din Ghori mar jaate toh India kabhi Muslim shasan mein aata hi nahi, yeh thoda ‘what if’ wala scenario hai jisme koi definitive answer nahi hota.”

Maine thoda ruk kar saans li, aur usne bade dhyan se suna.
Me: “Dekho, history sirf kisi ek insaan ya event se nahi banti. Us waqt Bharat kayi chhote-chhote rajyon mein bata hua tha, unmein aapas ke matbhed the. Central Asia mein bade badlav ho rahe the. Agar Ghori nahi bhi aate, toh shayad koi aur Turk ya Afghan aakraman karte. Ya toh koi aur shakti Hindustan par haavi ho jaati. History ek complex river ki tarah hai jismein kayi dhaarein milti hain aur uski disha badalte hain—sirf ek pathar se uska rasta nahi badalta.”

Pallavi ne ekdum se apne hoth daboch liye, jaise usne kuch naya seekha ho. “Achha! Toh aisa hai! Maine toh bas school ki kitabon mein jitna padha tha, utna hi pata tha.”
Me: “Aur aapka doosra sawaal Iltutmish aur Changez Khan wala... woh toh ulta hua tha..."

Me: "Aur aapka doosra sawaal Iltutmish aur Changez Khan wala... woh toh ulta hua tha. Iltutmish ne Changez Khan ki madad nahi ki thi, balki usne bade samajhdari se Mongol danger ko Hindustan se door rakha tha. Jab Changez Khan ek Khwarezm shahzade ka peecha karte hue Hindustan ki seema tak aa gaye the, toh us shahzade ne Iltutmish se sharan maangi thi. Par Iltutmish jaanta tha ki agar usne sharan di, toh Changez Khan Hindustan mein ghus jaayega aur yahan bhi wahi tabahi machayega jo usne Central Asia mein machayi thi. Toh Iltutmish ne bade diplomatically us shahzade ko ashray dene se mana kar diya. Isse Changez Khan ko Hindustan mein ghusne ka koi bahaana nahi mila, aur hum Mongols ke bhayanak aakraman se bach gaye. Agar Iltutmish unki madad karta, toh shayad aaj hum Mongol itihaas padh rahe hote, Mughal nahi."

Pallavi ki aankhein hairani se badi ho gayin. "Wooooah! Yeh toh mujhe pata hi nahi tha! Toh Iltutmish toh smart nikla!"

Me: "Bilkul! Bahut hi shatranj ki chaal chali thi usne."

Ab teesra sawaal, Aurangzeb wala. Yeh thoda sensitive tha.

Me: "Aurangzeb... uska naam aate hi logon ke dimaag mein ek hi image banti hai, ki woh bahut bura tha. Par history kabhi black and white nahi hoti, Pallavi. Woh shades of grey hoti hai."

Maine phone mein thoda search kiya, kuch images dikhane ke liye, aur phir bola:
"Aurangzeb Mughal Empire ka sabse bada shasak tha, usne Mughal Empire ko uski peak tak pahunchaya. Usne apne rajya ko dakshin mein bhi bahut expand kiya. Kuch log usse dharmik kattar maante hain, kyunki usne kuch mandir tudwaye, jizya wapas lagaya. Lekin usne kayi mandiron ko grants bhi diye, kayi Hindu mansabdar uske zamane mein sabse bade positions par the. Uska maqsad ek strong Islamic state banana tha, par uske methods ne kayi logon ko naraz kiya, khaaskar Marathas, Rajputs aur Sikhs ko. Uske baad hi Mughal Empire ka decline shuru hua."

Me: "Toh usko sirf 'bura' keh dena sahi nahi hoga. Woh ek complex ruler tha, jiske apne vichaar aur political majbooriyan thi. Hum aaj usko jis nazar se dekhte hain, woh kayi saalon ki interpretations aur political narratives ka nateeja hai."

Pallavi ne meri baat bahut dhyaan se suni, uske chehre par ab sochne wale bhaav the.

Pallavi: "Wow, Shrikant! Aapne toh meri aankhein khol di. Sach mein, school ki kitabon mein toh bas ek hi angle se padhaya jaata hai. Aapko toh itni detail mein pata hai. Lagta hai aapne graduation mein history ko sach mein jiya hai."

Me (thoda sa blush karte hue): "Bas thoda interest tha."

Pallavi: "Thoda? Aap toh pura encyclopedia ho! Ab toh mujhe aur bhi doubts hain. Jaise… India mein caste system kab aur kaise shuru hua? Aur kya Ramayan aur Mahabharat sach mein hue the?"

Aur is tarah, hamari train ki khidki se bahar guzarte hue kheton aur shehron ke beech, humara 'history class' chalta raha. Kabhi woh sawaal karti, kabhi main jawab deta, kabhi hum dono kisi point par debate karte, aur kabhi bas chupchaap bahar ke nazaron mein kho jaate — par ek doosre ki maujoodgi se comfortable hote ja rahe the. Ghante kab beet gaye, pata hi nahi chala.

Woh jo main sirf Bhagwan se sabki jodi banwane ki baat kar raha tha… shayad is baar khud meri jodi kisi ajnabi ke saath ban rahi thi, aur mujhe iska ehsaas bhi nahi tha… ya shayad ho raha tha, bas main usse maan nahi raha tha.

Shaam dhal chuki thi, train ki lighten jal chuki thi. Bahar ab dhundhla sa andhera tha, aur andar hum dono ki baatein aur gehri ho chuki thi. Hum history se nikal kar ab baaki subjects, life choices, dreams aur Delhi ki baatein kar rahe the.

Pallavi: “If you don’t mind, can I call you Shri?”
Me: “Yeah sure, everyone calls me with this shortcut name only…”

Itne mein khana aa jaata hai aur we started having dinner…
Soon we reached Aligarh and now only 1–2 hours journey left…

She, with some uncomfortable voice:
“Shri, how many friends do you have?”
Me (with little bit lower voice): “Dost hote kaise hain? Kya kisi ka kuch din baat karna aur chale jaana hi dosti hai?”

She: “Arey nahi, yeh matlab nahi tha. I mean, as you're so much of an introvert guy, so tumhare dost kaise bante hain?”

Me: "Very selective."

Pallavi (thoda muskuraate hue, jaise usne meri baat samajh li ho): "Achha, selective? Toh matlab jab aapko koi mil jaata hai, toh woh pakka wala friend hota hoga, poori life ke liye, right?" Uski awaaz mein ek chulbuli si umeed thi, jaise woh Shri ke jawab ka tareeka samajh rahi thi.

Me (thoda sochkar): "Haan... kuch aisa hi. It takes me a lot of time to open up, to trust someone enough to call them a 'friend'. And once I do, I try my best to be there for them. It's not about the number, it's about the depth. Bahut log mile safar mein, college mein, par woh sabhi bas kuch palo ke saathi the. Asli dosti toh shayad..." Main ruk gaya, uski aankhon mein dekha. "Asli dosti toh shayad wahi hai jo waqt ki har kasauti par khari utre."

Pallavi (meri aankhon mein gaur se dekhti hui): "I understand that, Shri. Main thodi alag hoon. Main bahut jaldi connect kar jaati hoon logon se, dosti bhi jaldi ho jaati hai. Kabhi-kabhi iska nuksaan bhi hota hai, par zyadatar achhe log hi milte hain." Usne idhar-udhar dekha, train ab dheere ho rahi thi, Aligarh station se aage nikal chuki thi. "Lekin pata hai kya, aap jaise log jo itne selective hote hain, unki dosti jab milti hai na, toh woh sach mein khaas hoti hai."

Ek pal ki khamoshi chha gayi. Train ki dheemi dhak-dhak aur bahar ki raat ki awaaz hi sunayi de rahi thi. Hum dono ko pata tha ki safar ab khatam hone wala tha. Delhi ab door nahi thi.

Main (ek lambi saans lekar, aur kuch sochkar bola): “Waise, Shimla pahuchne mein kitna time lagega aapko Delhi se?” Maine topic change kiya, shayad thodi awkwardness todne ke liye……

Pallavi: “Delhi se Shimla? Subah ki koi bus pakadni padegi. Chaar-paanch ghante toh lag hi jaayenge.”
Maine apni watch dekhi. “Agale ek ghante mein Delhi pahuch jaayenge.”

Pallavi (apne phone ko nikaalte hue, par meri taraf dekhte hue):
“Achha. Toh... aapko dekh ke lagta nahi ki aap itna bhi open ho sakte ho sabse… phir mere saath yeh aap itna open ho gaye… yah phir…”

Me: “Yaa phir…?”
Pallavi: “Arey, matlab… selective log kaise select karte hain?”
Me (apne mann mein): “Yaar phir nahi… ‘selective’ toh sirf ek word hai… uske peeche jo feeling hoti hai uska kya…?”

Pallavi: “Feelings bole toh?”
Me: “Feelings matlab… main yahan connection ki baat kar raha hoon. If you see into my life, I don’t have many friends. Yeh toh sirf connection-connection ki baat hai… Jitno se bhi main baat karta hoon, they mean everything to me…”

Pallavi (thoda sa ruki, jaise usne kuch mehsoos kiya ho):
“Hmm… toh tumhara kehna hai ki jab kisi se tumhara connection ban jaata hai, toh woh sirf baat-cheet tak seemit nahi rehta… uska matlab hota hai… emotions, depth… aur ek tarah ka belonging?”

Me (uski aankhon mein dekhte hue, dheere se):
“Shayad… ya shayad mujhe lagta hai ki har kisi mein woh feeling nahi aati. Par jab aati hai na… toh fir dil kuch kehne lagta hai, bina bole bhi.”

Pallavi (thoda sa muskurakar, par aankhon mein kuch aur tha):
“Toh… kya tumhe aisa lagta hai mere saath?”

Woh sawaal chhota tha, par uska asar gehra tha… jaise usne dil ke kisi kone tak ghanti baja di ho… aur dimaag ki bhi…

Main (thoda sa hilkar, aankhon se bachate hue):
“Main… pata nahi… par haan… jab se mila hoon, aisa lag raha hai jaise kuch kehna chahta hoon tumse… bina kisi wajah ke. Jaise… tumhare saath baatein karna asaan hai, natural hai. Aur yeh mere sirf kuch hi logon ke saath ho pata hai… Delhi mein bhi sirf 4–5 logon ke saath hi aisi baatein hoti hain.”

Pallavi (aankhon mein thodi si chamak aur halka sa blush):
“Shrikant, main bhi tumhare jaise logon se usually itni der tak baat nahi karti, ya itne deep. Par tum… tum alag ho yeh toh nahi bolungi, par tumhare saath koi bhi jaldi comfortable ho jaayega. Tumhare andar ek calmness hai… aur ek sachchai… jo aaj kal ke logon mein kam milti hai.”

 

Train ab Anand Vihar station ke paas aa chuki. Raat ka samay, platform ki roshni aur train ke halke jhatke hamare beech ek ajeeb si khamoshi le aaye.

Me (thoda halka sa muskura kar):
“Pallavi, ye safar... mujhe nahi lagta main kabhi bhool paunga. Tumse milke laga jaise… kisi kitaab ka sabse anokha chapter likha gaya ho.”

Pallavi (halke se meri taraf dekhte hue):
“Shri, agar koi kitaab hoti jismein tum character hote, toh main zaroor woh kitaab poori padhti. Aaj raat ne meri zindagi mein ek yaad chhod di hai, jo shayad hamesha saath rahegi.”

Train ab New Delhi station mein dhak-dhak kar ke ruk gayi thi. Loudspeaker par announcement hua. Hum dono ekdum chup ho gaye. Ab farewell ka waqt tha.

Pallavi (apna bag uthate hue, thoda hesitant):
“Toh... ab hum apne-apne raste?”

Me (haath badhaate hue):
“Haan… apne-apne raste, jahan tak bhi Bholenath ne likhe ho…”

Pallavi (meri taraf dekhte hue, haath milate hue):
“Aur haan, agar tum kahin akele history discuss kar rahe ho na, toh yaad rakhna, ek Pallavi thi jo history mein lost ho jaati thi... tumhare shabdon mein.”

Me (muskurate hue):
“haan aur tum jab bhi kahi history sun rahi hogi yaad rakhna ek shrii.. tha jo history ko padhana ni ussay jina sikhaya ”

Train ke darwaze khule, aur log utarne lage. Pallavi chali gayi.
Uska dupatta train ke andar se bahar udta hua gaya… jaise koi pal train mein chhoot gaya ho… ya shayad dil mein reh gaya ho………..

Number woh samne se de sakti nahi thi bina mange (ladki jo thi..),
aur main number maang paya ni (so called introvert jo tahra himmat kiya hi ni )…
Agar taqdeer ka milna baad mein hua… toh zarur milenge…

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